All the 'first time' moments in our lives felt like they happened yesterday. The first time we met. Bought our first car. Travelled together. We luckily remember these moments so vividly and clearly. The heavy black coat I was wearing when I sat to pose on our new Nissan from the dealership in the midst of winter. How we wandered around the streets of Beijing without a GPS, but the old-school way - printed directions and three memorized sentences in Mandarin, 'where is the washroom?', 'how much?', and 'excuse me'. The sweet taste of our vanilla bean steamers as we talked and laughed for hours on campus, knowing deep inside that we've found 'the one'. That time in our newly bought home when we found out we were expecting - the shock and joy that overcame us - and how we told our families. A hot potato game, and a surprise cake for the win!
Four months ago, Hayat became our new first moment. So tiny. Pure. Innocent. Heavenly. Loud. Definitely got that voice from me. She was in a hurry to meet us outside of the womb after she got bored of hanging inside for 7 days extra. Now, she's in love with staring deep into our eyes for long periods of time. She rejoices in feeling Ali's beard with her cute little hands while making smiling faces at me from afar. She pulls herself up (with a little help from me) on my count of three. I add an extra grunt when she's not listening and it gets her up in no time. I can't even keep up with the number of all these new first moments that we're experiencing almost daily. Everyone keeps telling us to enjoy this time as much as we can. And we are savouring every moment. Both the good and the bad. Because yes, there are those bad days too. When I'm desperate to get her to sleep after an hour of rocking. The times when I want to scream at the top of my lungs along with Hayat. We could become a mom and daughter singing duo one day. We can be that good.
Comic relief gets me through those low days and Hayat's shining, bright, curious eyes remind me of the beautiful innocence and pure goodness that she is. And how she's helped me reach into my inner core to pull out that extra bit of patience that I've always lacked. We will continue the savour, appreciate and feel deeply every one of these firsts with Hayat.